The Playoffs, Part 2

The wackiness of the playoffs arrived in full force last week. To recap:

The Ritzy Blitzers went down in the first round as the number one seed for the second year in a row – this time due to their own less than stellar showing rather than running into a red-hot opponent (the Blinder Squirrels did have a solid, if unspectacular, game). After four years, the top seeds are now 1-3 in the first round (with the only win by, who else, the Blind Squirrels 2 years ago) and have never made it to a championship game, so perhaps this outcome should not as unexpected as it appears at first glance. The Squirrels have made a habit out of kicking into a higher gear in week 14 – they are now 4-0 in their opening round matchups.

The Fat Cats raced out to a huge lead and never really gave the Granite Daisies a chance, although the final score ended up looking respectable. The Cats continue to show why they are one of the favorites, getting great production from their stars across the board, save an abnormally poor effort from Moss. The Daisies performed to expectation, getting a few strong performances from their best players and not much else. At this point in the year, that’s usually not enough to get the job done.

In the most exciting game of the week, the Cool Runnings raced out to a giant lead on the strength of stellar receiver, tight end, and defensive performance, only to watch it dwindle away as the Kenny Gee Wilikers running backs made up the difference. Then, the immortal Alex Smith outperformed the two Arizona future HOFers Warner and Fitzgerald in a Monday night shocker, preserving the victory. The Runnings were the only team this week to leave significant points on the bench, and it ended up costing them in the worst way. Meanwhile, the Wilikers continue to have the luck of the (non-South Bend) Irish, with their biggest outburst of the season coming in the best week possible.

Finally, in the big shootout, the Cupcakes of Doom! managed to outscore the Schmuckernators, thereby ending the phenomenal six-game season-saving streak of the Schmucks. The Cupcakes certainly appear to have all the elements in place for a run to the championship, which will easily top their previous best finish of 6th place in the inaugural year of the URK. Meanwhile, it doesn’t get any easier for the Schmucks, who must now go knock off a wounded Blitzers squad or fall back toward the basement from whence they had emerged.

*****

Predictions:
Last week, I was a completely average 2-2. If only I hadn’t gone against my first instinct and called the Squirrels’ win, I’d be looking a lot better right now. Well, at least I didn’t go 0-4, like a certain commissioner we know. (Low blow! Injury+insult!)

Consolation Bracket
(1) Ritzy Blitzers vs. (4) The Schmuckernators
Two teams who entered last week with realistic championship aspirations now find themselves in what should be an entertaining consolation matchup. After an unbelievable regular season, the Blitzers great coalition of grizzled veterans and high quality, under-the-radar new faces fell apart at the wrong time. Meanwhile the Schmuckernators found themselves battling injuries, suspensions, and way too many kickers on their roster and couldn’t keep their long win streak going. While neither of these top-scoring teams seems to have a significant advantage heading into the game matchup or roster-wise, the Blitzers superior depth gives them the ever-so-slight edge.

Prediction: The Blitzers officially put the Schmuckernators on another losing steak.

(6) Cool Runnings vs. (7) Granite Daisies
In the other bounce back game, two teams who couldn’t quite pull off the upset face off. The Runnings feature the best WR tandem in the league but inconsistent RB play has hurt them throughout the season and reared it’s head again last week. On the other side, the Daisies only real strength is the QB, and they are reliant on exceptional efforts from more-or-less role players to give themselves a fighting chance. Given the tremendous matchup advantages the Runnings have this week, we might even see something approaching the 75-point beatdown that occurred in week 5.

Prediction: The Runnings run away laughing from the Daisies.

Championship Bracket
(8) Blinder Squirrels vs. (5) Cupcakes of Doom!
The Squirrels, fresh off their upset and playing with significant momentum (4 wins in 5 games), now face a significant hurdle in their quest to make it back to the championship game for the second year in a row. The Cupcakes are riding high, led by the superhuman Chris Johnson and featuring a supporting cast filled with consistent performers and several capable of going off any given week. Both teams boast strong QBs and RBs and are more or less equal at other positions – whoever gets better play from their strength should win this game.

Prediction: The Cupcakes take the cake from the Blind.

(2) Fat Cats vs. (3) Kenny Gee Wilikers
The two teams which held chalk face off in a fascinating matchup. At first glance, the Cats boast a bevy of marquee names while the Wilikers lineup is held together with screws and duct tape. But closer inspection reveals the Wilikers appear to have found a winning strategy by going all in with emerging young surprises facing advantageous matchups. Ultimately, that will be what decides this game – are these untested players capable of putting up big numbers weekly against inferior opponents, or will the trusted names of the Cats still be able to outperform them even with the overall competition offering a bit more resistance?

Prediction: The Wilikers and their rabbit feet hop past the outstretch paw of the Cats.