End of the Year Awards, URK 2009
It’s time once again to highlight some of the moments that made this season a memorable one. You know what the great thing is about fantasy football? Even the non-champions can take solace in the consolation prizes, for managerial skill, creative talent, or great moments (personally, I’ve always been highly covetous of the highly regarded avatar and team name awards). Without further ado, we proudly present the 2009-2010 URK Fantasies!
*****
Best Team: Fat Cats
Anatomy of a champion: take some solid drafting in the first three rounds (DeAngelo Williams, Randy Moss, and Marques Colston), add a couple of later round steals (Matt Schaub, 6th round, Ray Rice, 11th round), mix in a couple of smart free agent pickups (Miles Austin, Mike Sims-Walker, Beanie Wells), and you’ve got an outstanding team. The Cats finished second in the regular season standings and second in the overall point totals, and were clearly the best team in the playoffs, rolling through all three rounds.
*****
Best Coaching Job: Kenny Gee Wilikers
In order to finish in third place in the regular season, the KGW had to survive one of the worst drafts in recent memory. Some lowlights include Matt Forte (Rd. 1), Reggie Bush (Rd. 3), Roy Williams (Rd. 5), Greg Olsen (Rd. 6), Eddie Royel (Rd. 7), Kyle Orton (Rd. 10), and Matt Cassel (Rd. 11). Then after a couple of trades turned into injured RBs and all appeared to be falling apart, the Wilikers found their niche as a collector of untested talent facing weak defenses, and made a nice run to a third place overall finish.
*****
Best General Manager: Yahoo! Sports (drafting for the Schmuckernators)
The Schmuckernators had an amazing team handed to them on opening day, highlighted by such great talents as Aaron Rodgers, Maurice Jones-Drew, Roddy White, and Dwayne Bowe. The Schmucks didn’t do much tinkering with this team, and didn’t have to, as they cruised to the overall high score title.
*****
Best Regular Season: Ritzy Blitzers
Among the amazing feats this season was perhaps the greatest run in the history of the league. From the opening week until they locked up the number one seed, the Blitzers were untouchable, winning 11 straight games. They ended up with an as-close-to-perfect-as-you-can-get 12-1 record, finished less than 5 points from the overall lead, and were week-in and week-out the most sure bet in the league.
*****
Biggest Turnaround: Blinder Squirrels
The Blinder Squirrels struggled through the regular season, to put it mildly. They looked like they were headed nowhere after week 9, with a 3-6 record and a second straight 70-point showing. Even after they locked up a playoff berth, they were still the only sub .500 team to make the dance and had to face the mighty Blitzers in round one. But the Squirrels turned it on at the right time, winning 5 of their final 7 games en route to a second straight second place finish in the league.
*****
Most Improved: Fat Cats
Last year, the Fat Cats went 5-8, missing out on the playoffs entirely. This year, they went 8-5 and won it all (as you may have noticed if you’ve been paying careful attention). That’s a pretty big improvement, going from 9th to 1st.
*****
Best Avatar: Cupcakes of Doom!
Quite possibly the most hideous avatar we’ve seen yet. Has there ever been such an image causing us to avert our eyes in embarrassing shame? Has any single avatar ever led to such uncontrollable vomiting in revulsion? Clearly, the Cupcakes have let themselves go after marriage; anyone remember how much more pleasing they used to look? We long for those days.
*****
Best Team Name: Kenny Gee Wilikers
One of the worst puns unleashed on the world this year, simultaneously evoking an image of soulless music, hideous hairstyles, and a swell, if slightly outdated, euphemism.
*****
Best Trash Talk: The Schmuckernators
‘my team is in shambles.’ Week 8, the Schmuckernators, (author of such other classics as, ‘FatCats! KICKER!’ (Wk. 1), and, ‘Oh brilliant. Chris Johnson vs. the Rams’ (Wk. 14)), in response to news that Larry Johnson was even a worse human being that we previously thought. In direct response to this post, his team promptly went on a 6-game winning steak, became the highest scoring team in the league, and a underwent complete turn-around of fortune. Would that more of us be in shambles!
*****
Best Sportsmanship: Cool Runnings
With all their participation in the trash-talking, deal-making, and free-agent pickups, the Runnings were heavily involved in the league’s weekly activity. Always a good thing to see, especially for a team stuck in the middle of the pack all year. Plus, this award proves that it’s not always a bad thing to lose a first-round playoff matchup to the one handing out these awards.
*****
Most Surprising Team: Granite Daisies
At the beginning of the year, not much was expected of them. But they snagged a few wins in games they probably shouldn’t have won, made the playoffs, and finished the year in 5th place. That’s a fantastic job for a team with only two (maybe 2.5) superstar players.
*****
The Almost-Breakthrough-Year Award: Cactus!! WATCH OUT!!
Cactus!! WATCH OUT!! had a nice start and finish to the season, with four wins in those six total games. Unfortunately for them, over the heart of the schedule they only managed one win in seven games. If the Cactii would have had a deep enough bench to steal a couple of wins over bye week portion of the season, we might be looking at the most improved team of the year; instead, we’re looking at one that fell just short of the playoffs.
*****
The Close-But-No-Cigar Award: Clay Davis All-Stars
One season after winning it all, the Clay Davis All-Stars had a remarkably unfortunate year, with three losses of less than 5 points costing them a shot at defending their title. Considering this weapons on this team (including Philip Rivers, Adrian Peterson, and Brandon Marshall), they could have done serious damage in the postseason again this year if they only had a better first 13 weeks.
*****
The Most-Superficial-Makeover Award: Baby Daddy Buller/BullerBezoarBonaza
Five weeks into the season, the Bullers underwent a dramatic name change, to little effect. I mean, something trapped in the gastrointestinal system versus something trapped in the uterus, what’s the dif? (I kid, I kid!) The name switcheroo didn’t change the fact that for all their joy outside the small world of URKFF, the team was still mediocre at best on the field.
*****
The Can’t-Buy-A-Break Award: Minions
The Minions seemed primed to finally end their string of finishes at the bottom of the standings this year: they grabbed Drew Brees in the midst of an amazing season, and just needed some regular support from their RBs and WRs to be consistently competitive. Needless to say, they couldn’t get it, for reasons ranging from injury (Anthony Gonzales) to fumbling (Steve Slaton) to inept offense (Braylon Edwards, Jamal Lewis). Maybe next year?
*****
Best/Worst Trade: Cool Runnings (Mario Manningham) to Cupcakes of Doom! (Steven Jackson), week 5. This trade almost single-handedly saved the Runnings season by giving them consistent points in their troublesome running back situation (at least up until the playoffs). The Cupcakes needed to upgrade their WRs, but Manningham just didn’t pan out. Can you imagine how dangerous the Cupcakes would have been with the three-headed RB monster of Chris Johnson, Steven Jackson, and Joseph Addai all year? Wow.
*****
Best Free Agent Pickup: Miles Austin, Fat Cats. When a single claim fills a lineup hole turning a good team into a great team and sending them to a championship, that’s a pretty good pickup.
*****
Best Feud: Cupcakes of Doom! vs. Ritzy Blitzers. Gotta love the banging-head-into-wall persistence of a lesser team voting against the powerhouse every week solely out of hatred for said team’s dominance. While the Blitzers had the upper hand most of the year, they apparently were rattled enough by the end of the year to fall apart in the playoffs. Or something like that.
*****
Most Exciting Game(s): I’m a bit biased, but for me, there’s no question the most exciting game this season was the first round playoff matchup between the Runnings and KGW. The Runnings jumped out to a huge lead, and then the KGW came storming back to take a small lead, precariously small with only a journeyman QB vs. two future hall-of-famers in a Monday night showdown. Of course, Alex Smith ended up outperforming Kurt Warner (negative points!) and Larry Fitzgerald that night, in what felt like a huge upset for the KGW.
The second-round playoff matchup between the Squirrels and the Cupcakes was also tremendous, with the Squirrels needing (and getting) overperformances from unlikely sources on a Monday night to overcome a substantial deficit. Hooray playoff wackiness!
*****
Best Performance: 202.35. Fat Cats, week 6. Jaw-dropping. And it wasn’t even their optimal lineup.
*****
Worst Performance: 37.08. Cactus!! WATCH OUT!!, week 8. Jaw-dropping. And it wasn’t even their worst possible lineup.
*****
Upset of the Year: Granite Daisies over Ritzy Blitzers, week 12. Did anyone see it coming? The Blitzers, coasting to the league’s number one seed, losing for the first time in 11 games? The Daisies, fighting for their playoff lives, posting their season-high score of 130.55 points? An astonishing effort, which propelled the Daisies to 4 wins in their final 5 games and a fifth place finish, and an ominous foreshadowing for the Blitzers, who lost 4 of their final 5 and stumbled to eight place.
*****
Best Awards-That-Were-Not-These Awards: Big fan of the 2009 Graph Awards. Nicely done.
*****
Most-Words-Written-About-the-League: This Year? 16,621, in total. That’s pretty excessive, I’d say.
*****
Best Team: Fat Cats
Anatomy of a champion: take some solid drafting in the first three rounds (DeAngelo Williams, Randy Moss, and Marques Colston), add a couple of later round steals (Matt Schaub, 6th round, Ray Rice, 11th round), mix in a couple of smart free agent pickups (Miles Austin, Mike Sims-Walker, Beanie Wells), and you’ve got an outstanding team. The Cats finished second in the regular season standings and second in the overall point totals, and were clearly the best team in the playoffs, rolling through all three rounds.
*****
Best Coaching Job: Kenny Gee Wilikers
In order to finish in third place in the regular season, the KGW had to survive one of the worst drafts in recent memory. Some lowlights include Matt Forte (Rd. 1), Reggie Bush (Rd. 3), Roy Williams (Rd. 5), Greg Olsen (Rd. 6), Eddie Royel (Rd. 7), Kyle Orton (Rd. 10), and Matt Cassel (Rd. 11). Then after a couple of trades turned into injured RBs and all appeared to be falling apart, the Wilikers found their niche as a collector of untested talent facing weak defenses, and made a nice run to a third place overall finish.
*****
Best General Manager: Yahoo! Sports (drafting for the Schmuckernators)
The Schmuckernators had an amazing team handed to them on opening day, highlighted by such great talents as Aaron Rodgers, Maurice Jones-Drew, Roddy White, and Dwayne Bowe. The Schmucks didn’t do much tinkering with this team, and didn’t have to, as they cruised to the overall high score title.
*****
Best Regular Season: Ritzy Blitzers
Among the amazing feats this season was perhaps the greatest run in the history of the league. From the opening week until they locked up the number one seed, the Blitzers were untouchable, winning 11 straight games. They ended up with an as-close-to-perfect-as-you-can-get 12-1 record, finished less than 5 points from the overall lead, and were week-in and week-out the most sure bet in the league.
*****
Biggest Turnaround: Blinder Squirrels
The Blinder Squirrels struggled through the regular season, to put it mildly. They looked like they were headed nowhere after week 9, with a 3-6 record and a second straight 70-point showing. Even after they locked up a playoff berth, they were still the only sub .500 team to make the dance and had to face the mighty Blitzers in round one. But the Squirrels turned it on at the right time, winning 5 of their final 7 games en route to a second straight second place finish in the league.
*****
Most Improved: Fat Cats
Last year, the Fat Cats went 5-8, missing out on the playoffs entirely. This year, they went 8-5 and won it all (as you may have noticed if you’ve been paying careful attention). That’s a pretty big improvement, going from 9th to 1st.
*****
Best Avatar: Cupcakes of Doom!
Quite possibly the most hideous avatar we’ve seen yet. Has there ever been such an image causing us to avert our eyes in embarrassing shame? Has any single avatar ever led to such uncontrollable vomiting in revulsion? Clearly, the Cupcakes have let themselves go after marriage; anyone remember how much more pleasing they used to look? We long for those days.
*****
Best Team Name: Kenny Gee Wilikers
One of the worst puns unleashed on the world this year, simultaneously evoking an image of soulless music, hideous hairstyles, and a swell, if slightly outdated, euphemism.
*****
Best Trash Talk: The Schmuckernators
‘my team is in shambles.’ Week 8, the Schmuckernators, (author of such other classics as, ‘FatCats! KICKER!’ (Wk. 1), and, ‘Oh brilliant. Chris Johnson vs. the Rams’ (Wk. 14)), in response to news that Larry Johnson was even a worse human being that we previously thought. In direct response to this post, his team promptly went on a 6-game winning steak, became the highest scoring team in the league, and a underwent complete turn-around of fortune. Would that more of us be in shambles!
*****
Best Sportsmanship: Cool Runnings
With all their participation in the trash-talking, deal-making, and free-agent pickups, the Runnings were heavily involved in the league’s weekly activity. Always a good thing to see, especially for a team stuck in the middle of the pack all year. Plus, this award proves that it’s not always a bad thing to lose a first-round playoff matchup to the one handing out these awards.
*****
Most Surprising Team: Granite Daisies
At the beginning of the year, not much was expected of them. But they snagged a few wins in games they probably shouldn’t have won, made the playoffs, and finished the year in 5th place. That’s a fantastic job for a team with only two (maybe 2.5) superstar players.
*****
The Almost-Breakthrough-Year Award: Cactus!! WATCH OUT!!
Cactus!! WATCH OUT!! had a nice start and finish to the season, with four wins in those six total games. Unfortunately for them, over the heart of the schedule they only managed one win in seven games. If the Cactii would have had a deep enough bench to steal a couple of wins over bye week portion of the season, we might be looking at the most improved team of the year; instead, we’re looking at one that fell just short of the playoffs.
*****
The Close-But-No-Cigar Award: Clay Davis All-Stars
One season after winning it all, the Clay Davis All-Stars had a remarkably unfortunate year, with three losses of less than 5 points costing them a shot at defending their title. Considering this weapons on this team (including Philip Rivers, Adrian Peterson, and Brandon Marshall), they could have done serious damage in the postseason again this year if they only had a better first 13 weeks.
*****
The Most-Superficial-Makeover Award: Baby Daddy Buller/BullerBezoarBonaza
Five weeks into the season, the Bullers underwent a dramatic name change, to little effect. I mean, something trapped in the gastrointestinal system versus something trapped in the uterus, what’s the dif? (I kid, I kid!) The name switcheroo didn’t change the fact that for all their joy outside the small world of URKFF, the team was still mediocre at best on the field.
*****
The Can’t-Buy-A-Break Award: Minions
The Minions seemed primed to finally end their string of finishes at the bottom of the standings this year: they grabbed Drew Brees in the midst of an amazing season, and just needed some regular support from their RBs and WRs to be consistently competitive. Needless to say, they couldn’t get it, for reasons ranging from injury (Anthony Gonzales) to fumbling (Steve Slaton) to inept offense (Braylon Edwards, Jamal Lewis). Maybe next year?
*****
Best/Worst Trade: Cool Runnings (Mario Manningham) to Cupcakes of Doom! (Steven Jackson), week 5. This trade almost single-handedly saved the Runnings season by giving them consistent points in their troublesome running back situation (at least up until the playoffs). The Cupcakes needed to upgrade their WRs, but Manningham just didn’t pan out. Can you imagine how dangerous the Cupcakes would have been with the three-headed RB monster of Chris Johnson, Steven Jackson, and Joseph Addai all year? Wow.
*****
Best Free Agent Pickup: Miles Austin, Fat Cats. When a single claim fills a lineup hole turning a good team into a great team and sending them to a championship, that’s a pretty good pickup.
*****
Best Feud: Cupcakes of Doom! vs. Ritzy Blitzers. Gotta love the banging-head-into-wall persistence of a lesser team voting against the powerhouse every week solely out of hatred for said team’s dominance. While the Blitzers had the upper hand most of the year, they apparently were rattled enough by the end of the year to fall apart in the playoffs. Or something like that.
*****
Most Exciting Game(s): I’m a bit biased, but for me, there’s no question the most exciting game this season was the first round playoff matchup between the Runnings and KGW. The Runnings jumped out to a huge lead, and then the KGW came storming back to take a small lead, precariously small with only a journeyman QB vs. two future hall-of-famers in a Monday night showdown. Of course, Alex Smith ended up outperforming Kurt Warner (negative points!) and Larry Fitzgerald that night, in what felt like a huge upset for the KGW.
The second-round playoff matchup between the Squirrels and the Cupcakes was also tremendous, with the Squirrels needing (and getting) overperformances from unlikely sources on a Monday night to overcome a substantial deficit. Hooray playoff wackiness!
*****
Best Performance: 202.35. Fat Cats, week 6. Jaw-dropping. And it wasn’t even their optimal lineup.
*****
Worst Performance: 37.08. Cactus!! WATCH OUT!!, week 8. Jaw-dropping. And it wasn’t even their worst possible lineup.
*****
Upset of the Year: Granite Daisies over Ritzy Blitzers, week 12. Did anyone see it coming? The Blitzers, coasting to the league’s number one seed, losing for the first time in 11 games? The Daisies, fighting for their playoff lives, posting their season-high score of 130.55 points? An astonishing effort, which propelled the Daisies to 4 wins in their final 5 games and a fifth place finish, and an ominous foreshadowing for the Blitzers, who lost 4 of their final 5 and stumbled to eight place.
*****
Best Awards-That-Were-Not-These Awards: Big fan of the 2009 Graph Awards. Nicely done.
*****
Most-Words-Written-About-the-League: This Year? 16,621, in total. That’s pretty excessive, I’d say.
1 Comments:
Nicely done.
There that's 16,623.
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