2008 URK Fantasy Football Wrap-Up
What a great season it’s been! The debut of the expanded twelve team league added extra suspense to the regular season, and the playoffs were topsy-turvy as always. Now let’s wrap up the year by handing out a little hardware. Maybe we can petition the talented Mr. Graber to create some sweet certificates of accomplishment or something…
Best Team: The Inglorious Bat Turds (Regular Season: 5-8, Overall: 1st place)
The ultimate playoff underdog, the Inglorious Bat Turds rose to the challenge by shocking the number one seed with their best performance of the season, then following that up with two more weeks of great performances taking down two other top teams. A deserving champion, the Turds were the perfect example of a talented team which struggled through the season but caught fire at the right time.
Best Coaching: Blind Squirrels (Regular Season: 9-4, Overall: 2nd place)
For the second straight year, no team got more out of less than the Blind Squirrels. Despite having a mediocre running game, losing their starting QB for several key weeks, and what seemed to be non-existent depth on the bench, the Squirrels found a way keep moving up the standings, all the way to a second place finish in both the regular season and playoffs. The Squirrels were another of those teams that proved it’s not how you start the year, but how you finish it that counts.
Best Improvement: The Schmuckernators (Regular Season: 8-5, Overall: 3rd place)
While the Schmucks have had decent teams in the past, they have always flamed out come playoff time – last year’s sixth place finish is case in point. This year they finally pulled things together with a strong regular season (minus a few games at the end) and, more importantly, with two wins in the playoffs on the way to a respectable third place finish.
Best Trash Talking: Incomprehensibles (Regular Season: 9-4, Overall: 4th place)
They didn’t do much…in fact, they did almost none. But once they decided to go all gloomy-mopey-Eeyore with, “you know what, i’ll just plan on losing from here on out,” the Inc. promptly ran off a six-game winning streak. Now that’s effective trash talk.
Best Managerial Enthusiasm: The Dngrs Dngrs (Regular Season: 8-5, Overall: 5th place)
In terms of shear volume of waiver pickups and trades, the Dngrs stood head and shoulders above everyone else, with an almost excessive 40 pickups and two blockbuster, league-affecting trades over the course of the season. Clearly, some worked and some didn’t, but not for lack of effort and attention to detail.
Best Creative Enthusiasm: Cool Runnings (Regular Season: 7-6, Overall: 6th place)
Some of us were content to stick with some stock photo or last year’s creation. Others created an avatar at the beginning of the year and changed it once or twice. Cool Runnings went through (by my count) five different avatars shown above, and (this is the cherry on top) a name change halfway through the season, the demise of Cool Hand slightly following the demise of Paul Newman. Good thing the Jamaican bobsled team didn’t kick the bucket…
Best General Manager: The Home Pwners (Regular Season: 10-3, Overall: 7th place)
Impeccable drafting and timely waiver pickups produced a powerhouse of a team that was clearly the class of the league most of the year. With the Pwners superior research and fantasy understanding, the bar was set extremely high for the rest of us trying to keep up.
Best Avatar: Brett’s Benzos BID (Regular Season: 8-5, Overall: 8th place)
For the second year in a row, the BBB takes the preeminent art prize with the most shocking, hilarious, and quite frankly disturbing avatar yet seen. Let’s just hope none of his future patients ever catch a glimpse of this.
Best Sportsmanship: Fat Cats (Regular Season: 5-8, Overall: 9th place)
The sportsmanship award ideally goes to a team that, despite their best efforts, did not always have success but still kept enthusiasm and their collective heads up. The Cats fit such criterion to a tee, with a disappointing season ending just on the outside of the playoffs but a positive attitude through thick and thin.
Best Team Name: Cupcakes of Doom! (Regular Season: 4-9, Overall: 10th place)
While the team ultimately lived up to the cupcake end of the bargain, the name itself was golden. Evoking the essence of Ali’s famous ‘Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,’ (or maybe the thought was just cyanide-laced birthday sweets) the Cupcakes came up with the best moniker this year.
Best Courage: Cactus. Look out! (Regular Season: 3-10, Overall: 11th place)
Despite professing a severe lack of knowledge about the game of American football, the Cactus was finally convinced to give the fantasy game a try. And despite a horrific start, the Cactus did not fold, eventually got the hang of it, and pulled off a couple of victories to finish the season well.
Best Faith in One’s Real Team: Minions (Regular Season: 2-11, Overall: 12th place)
Continuing a tradition since the inception of the league, the Minions once again stocked up on current Browns and ex-Buckeyes. While this strategy led to one first place regular season finish two years ago among otherwise mediocre results, the fervent devotion is commendable in a fickle sporting world.
Best Team: The Inglorious Bat Turds (Regular Season: 5-8, Overall: 1st place)
The ultimate playoff underdog, the Inglorious Bat Turds rose to the challenge by shocking the number one seed with their best performance of the season, then following that up with two more weeks of great performances taking down two other top teams. A deserving champion, the Turds were the perfect example of a talented team which struggled through the season but caught fire at the right time.
Best Coaching: Blind Squirrels (Regular Season: 9-4, Overall: 2nd place)
For the second straight year, no team got more out of less than the Blind Squirrels. Despite having a mediocre running game, losing their starting QB for several key weeks, and what seemed to be non-existent depth on the bench, the Squirrels found a way keep moving up the standings, all the way to a second place finish in both the regular season and playoffs. The Squirrels were another of those teams that proved it’s not how you start the year, but how you finish it that counts.
Best Improvement: The Schmuckernators (Regular Season: 8-5, Overall: 3rd place)
While the Schmucks have had decent teams in the past, they have always flamed out come playoff time – last year’s sixth place finish is case in point. This year they finally pulled things together with a strong regular season (minus a few games at the end) and, more importantly, with two wins in the playoffs on the way to a respectable third place finish.
Best Trash Talking: Incomprehensibles (Regular Season: 9-4, Overall: 4th place)
They didn’t do much…in fact, they did almost none. But once they decided to go all gloomy-mopey-Eeyore with, “you know what, i’ll just plan on losing from here on out,” the Inc. promptly ran off a six-game winning streak. Now that’s effective trash talk.
Best Managerial Enthusiasm: The Dngrs Dngrs (Regular Season: 8-5, Overall: 5th place)
In terms of shear volume of waiver pickups and trades, the Dngrs stood head and shoulders above everyone else, with an almost excessive 40 pickups and two blockbuster, league-affecting trades over the course of the season. Clearly, some worked and some didn’t, but not for lack of effort and attention to detail.
Best Creative Enthusiasm: Cool Runnings (Regular Season: 7-6, Overall: 6th place)
Some of us were content to stick with some stock photo or last year’s creation. Others created an avatar at the beginning of the year and changed it once or twice. Cool Runnings went through (by my count) five different avatars shown above, and (this is the cherry on top) a name change halfway through the season, the demise of Cool Hand slightly following the demise of Paul Newman. Good thing the Jamaican bobsled team didn’t kick the bucket…
Best General Manager: The Home Pwners (Regular Season: 10-3, Overall: 7th place)
Impeccable drafting and timely waiver pickups produced a powerhouse of a team that was clearly the class of the league most of the year. With the Pwners superior research and fantasy understanding, the bar was set extremely high for the rest of us trying to keep up.
Best Avatar: Brett’s Benzos BID (Regular Season: 8-5, Overall: 8th place)
For the second year in a row, the BBB takes the preeminent art prize with the most shocking, hilarious, and quite frankly disturbing avatar yet seen. Let’s just hope none of his future patients ever catch a glimpse of this.
Best Sportsmanship: Fat Cats (Regular Season: 5-8, Overall: 9th place)
The sportsmanship award ideally goes to a team that, despite their best efforts, did not always have success but still kept enthusiasm and their collective heads up. The Cats fit such criterion to a tee, with a disappointing season ending just on the outside of the playoffs but a positive attitude through thick and thin.
Best Team Name: Cupcakes of Doom! (Regular Season: 4-9, Overall: 10th place)
While the team ultimately lived up to the cupcake end of the bargain, the name itself was golden. Evoking the essence of Ali’s famous ‘Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,’ (or maybe the thought was just cyanide-laced birthday sweets) the Cupcakes came up with the best moniker this year.
Best Courage: Cactus. Look out! (Regular Season: 3-10, Overall: 11th place)
Despite professing a severe lack of knowledge about the game of American football, the Cactus was finally convinced to give the fantasy game a try. And despite a horrific start, the Cactus did not fold, eventually got the hang of it, and pulled off a couple of victories to finish the season well.
Best Faith in One’s Real Team: Minions (Regular Season: 2-11, Overall: 12th place)
Continuing a tradition since the inception of the league, the Minions once again stocked up on current Browns and ex-Buckeyes. While this strategy led to one first place regular season finish two years ago among otherwise mediocre results, the fervent devotion is commendable in a fickle sporting world.
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