Week 6 Power Rankings!
We’ve nearly reached the halfway point of the year, and demarcation between the three tiers of teams has never been clearer. Not to say things won’t change—they will, as more injuries and late-season surges arrive. But, right now, you can safely call any matchup between teams in the same level a toss-up, and Vegas won’t be offended. Now, as to the eternal prospects of these teams, were they to find themselves lifeless tomorrow…
Going To Hell
12. ★
Record: 0-6; Last Week: 12
Still searching for answers; the question being will they win any games this season? Or, to put the bar a bit lower, will they be able to field a complete team in any games this season?
11. Doctor Dilaudid
Record: 2-4; Last Week: 8
Continuing to struggle mightily to put points on the board – it’s kind of painful, like watching a bad nurse struggle to find the vein of a blood donor. Stab, stab, stab, miss, miss, miss. Prognosis: grim.
10. Cupcakes of DOOM!
Record: 2-4; Last Week: 10
The Cupcakes are practically in the same boat as the Doctors, but have scored 1.23 more points and won the head-to-head battle. Crucial matchup next week as they need to spring an upset to keep pace with the other playoff hopefuls.
9. Z Power
Record: 3-3; Last Week: 11
The Z’s haven’t really been any better than the two previous teams, but the do have one more victory which has to count for something. They also have done a good bit of tinkering with their engine, which should pay dividends in the long haul.
Trapped in Purgatory
8. The Schmuckernators
Record: 2-4; Last Week: 7
Heartbreaking loss for a team that has been up-and-down an awful lot this year. A win this week could go a long way toward adding some definition to this season.
7. Bad Bad Victorcat
Record: 2-4; Last Week: 9
When they lose, they’re terrible, but win they win, they win big. Has any other team broke 125 twice and failed to reach 65 twice this early in a season? Don’t know what to expect out of these guys; stuck in the middle of the power rankings sounds like a decent compromise.
6. Left Hand Strangers
Record: 3-3; Last Week: 6
The Strangers have had a middling kind of year thus far; usually solid, rarely spectacular. They get a great chance to beat up on a couple of the 98 pound weaklings in the league over the next few weeks – it’s vital that they take full advantage of this opportunity to pad the resume.
5. Minions
Record: 4-2; Last Week: 2
After such a strong opening month, the Minions finally had their flaws exposed this week. Since the other half of their team goes on bye in two weeks, we could see them trending down for a while.
Heaven-bound!
4. Fat Cats
Record: 3-3; Last Week: 5
It was a struggle early on, but the Cats are winners of three straight and looking like one of the most fearsome teams in the league right now. First, they must win the ‘Cat bowl next week to establish themselves as the premier Feline on the prowl, in a fascinating matchup between league champions the past two years.
3. The Hot Showers
Record: 5-1; Last Week: 1
The Showers finally dropped the soap and lost their sparkling clean record. Now they’ve got to get down and dirty to try to find some points with a Minions-during-the-Browns-bye-week-like four starters on bye this week.
2. Cool Runnings
Record: 5-1; Last Week: 4
Great, exciting win last week as they held off a hard-charging Schmuckernators team. They can’t afford to let up any, however, as they now face a couple more desperate middle-tier teams itching for a signature win.
1. A Sheep at the Wheel
Record: 5-1; Last Week: 3
It’s been a month, but the Sheep have taken out the other two top contenders and have worked themselves back to redemption and the top of the charts. They may lack the flash of the past few years, but the solid play with an extra bit of grit and determination in this year’s model just may portend even greater successes than those end-of-the-year flameouts.
Going To Hell
12. ★
Record: 0-6; Last Week: 12
Still searching for answers; the question being will they win any games this season? Or, to put the bar a bit lower, will they be able to field a complete team in any games this season?
11. Doctor Dilaudid
Record: 2-4; Last Week: 8
Continuing to struggle mightily to put points on the board – it’s kind of painful, like watching a bad nurse struggle to find the vein of a blood donor. Stab, stab, stab, miss, miss, miss. Prognosis: grim.
10. Cupcakes of DOOM!
Record: 2-4; Last Week: 10
The Cupcakes are practically in the same boat as the Doctors, but have scored 1.23 more points and won the head-to-head battle. Crucial matchup next week as they need to spring an upset to keep pace with the other playoff hopefuls.
9. Z Power
Record: 3-3; Last Week: 11
The Z’s haven’t really been any better than the two previous teams, but the do have one more victory which has to count for something. They also have done a good bit of tinkering with their engine, which should pay dividends in the long haul.
Trapped in Purgatory
8. The Schmuckernators
Record: 2-4; Last Week: 7
Heartbreaking loss for a team that has been up-and-down an awful lot this year. A win this week could go a long way toward adding some definition to this season.
7. Bad Bad Victorcat
Record: 2-4; Last Week: 9
When they lose, they’re terrible, but win they win, they win big. Has any other team broke 125 twice and failed to reach 65 twice this early in a season? Don’t know what to expect out of these guys; stuck in the middle of the power rankings sounds like a decent compromise.
6. Left Hand Strangers
Record: 3-3; Last Week: 6
The Strangers have had a middling kind of year thus far; usually solid, rarely spectacular. They get a great chance to beat up on a couple of the 98 pound weaklings in the league over the next few weeks – it’s vital that they take full advantage of this opportunity to pad the resume.
5. Minions
Record: 4-2; Last Week: 2
After such a strong opening month, the Minions finally had their flaws exposed this week. Since the other half of their team goes on bye in two weeks, we could see them trending down for a while.
Heaven-bound!
4. Fat Cats
Record: 3-3; Last Week: 5
It was a struggle early on, but the Cats are winners of three straight and looking like one of the most fearsome teams in the league right now. First, they must win the ‘Cat bowl next week to establish themselves as the premier Feline on the prowl, in a fascinating matchup between league champions the past two years.
3. The Hot Showers
Record: 5-1; Last Week: 1
The Showers finally dropped the soap and lost their sparkling clean record. Now they’ve got to get down and dirty to try to find some points with a Minions-during-the-Browns-bye-week-like four starters on bye this week.
2. Cool Runnings
Record: 5-1; Last Week: 4
Great, exciting win last week as they held off a hard-charging Schmuckernators team. They can’t afford to let up any, however, as they now face a couple more desperate middle-tier teams itching for a signature win.
1. A Sheep at the Wheel
Record: 5-1; Last Week: 3
It’s been a month, but the Sheep have taken out the other two top contenders and have worked themselves back to redemption and the top of the charts. They may lack the flash of the past few years, but the solid play with an extra bit of grit and determination in this year’s model just may portend even greater successes than those end-of-the-year flameouts.
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