The URK 2010-2011 Fantasy Football Preview!
The birth of the now-season! A fresh beginning! A brand new start! Unspoiled and unblemished, like the sparkling morning dew on a brisk autumnal morn! Palatable unpopped promise, stretching from the hot heart of Texas to just beyond the outer rim of the Great Lake Michigan lake effect snowbelt!
Yes, folks, it's once again time for the United Republic of Kenwood's annual revival of rivalries, resumption of rancor, return to row through the rounds. Fantasy football! Hath sweeter words e’er been uttered by English tongue? (Yes.) Hath such a competition e’er been set forth by even the gods on high, whereby two opposing sides strive mightily to organize their infantrymen into the most cohesive—and highest scoring—unit which is earthly possible, and with clever names and avatars to boot? Fantasy football in the fall! Naught else compares with thee!
And with the dawning of a new season comes a brand new collection of power rankings. Huzzah! Again, huzzah! The tradition continues! Let the lore of the league be writ once more!
Without further ado, presenting the preseason power rankings:
Good:
12. Minions
The league’s annual doormat hopes to shake things up this year.
Solid: RB1 is a no-brainer.
Question: Will the Browns be any good?
11. Cupcakes of DOOM!
The perennial fast-starting, slow finishers hope to reverse the trend this go-round.
Solid: Great QB.
Question: Will all those time-sharing RBs and second-tier WRs produce enough?
10. Fat Cats
Last year’s champ, aggressively drafting for another shot at immortality.
Solid: Top-notch RB1.
Question: Lots of youth on this roster – potentially high upside, will they pan out?
9. Cool Runnings
Itching to break through from its previous middle of the pack finishes.
Solid: No doubts about QB and TE.
Question: Who will step up at the WR spots?
Better:
8. The Hot Showers
The current roster may be unrecognizable by season’s end, but it will likely be dangerous.
Solid: Proven great WRs.
Question: Will the untested RBs step up?
7. Doctor Dilaudid
The creative – and slightly preoccupied – doctor hopes to write a prescription for a championship.
Solid: Good to great players at all WR and RB slots.
Question: How will all the WRs on the downward slopes of their careers fare?
6. Bad Bad Victorcat
Looking to erase those bad, bad memories of last season’s regression.
Solid: Nice 1-2 combos at WR and RB.
Question: How will this team hold up by the end of the year with their lack of depth?
5. A Sheep at the Wheel
Who can doubt the abilities of the indisputable king of the last two regular seasons?
Solid: Great QB.
Question: How much do these aging WRs have in them?
Best:
4. ★
The artist formerly known as GD now serves up his most unpronounceable name yet.
Solid: Proven commodities at WR and RB.
Question: Will the bench turn in more than a one-star performance?
3. Left Hand Strangers
The new kids on the block – will they dominate or be in over their heads?
Solid: Quite deep at WR.
Question: Can the thin running game hold its own?
2. Z Power
Always performing best when it counts, coming oh-so-close the past two years.
Solid: QB and RBs look worry-free.
Question: Will drafting two suspended receivers handicap this team too much at the beginning of the year?
1. The Schmuckernators
Ready to make the leap from perennial good to great.
Solid: True starters at all the key positions.
Question: Will their depth compensate for potential lack of headliners?
Yes, folks, it's once again time for the United Republic of Kenwood's annual revival of rivalries, resumption of rancor, return to row through the rounds. Fantasy football! Hath sweeter words e’er been uttered by English tongue? (Yes.) Hath such a competition e’er been set forth by even the gods on high, whereby two opposing sides strive mightily to organize their infantrymen into the most cohesive—and highest scoring—unit which is earthly possible, and with clever names and avatars to boot? Fantasy football in the fall! Naught else compares with thee!
And with the dawning of a new season comes a brand new collection of power rankings. Huzzah! Again, huzzah! The tradition continues! Let the lore of the league be writ once more!
Without further ado, presenting the preseason power rankings:
Good:
12. Minions
The league’s annual doormat hopes to shake things up this year.
Solid: RB1 is a no-brainer.
Question: Will the Browns be any good?
11. Cupcakes of DOOM!
The perennial fast-starting, slow finishers hope to reverse the trend this go-round.
Solid: Great QB.
Question: Will all those time-sharing RBs and second-tier WRs produce enough?
10. Fat Cats
Last year’s champ, aggressively drafting for another shot at immortality.
Solid: Top-notch RB1.
Question: Lots of youth on this roster – potentially high upside, will they pan out?
9. Cool Runnings
Itching to break through from its previous middle of the pack finishes.
Solid: No doubts about QB and TE.
Question: Who will step up at the WR spots?
Better:
8. The Hot Showers
The current roster may be unrecognizable by season’s end, but it will likely be dangerous.
Solid: Proven great WRs.
Question: Will the untested RBs step up?
7. Doctor Dilaudid
The creative – and slightly preoccupied – doctor hopes to write a prescription for a championship.
Solid: Good to great players at all WR and RB slots.
Question: How will all the WRs on the downward slopes of their careers fare?
6. Bad Bad Victorcat
Looking to erase those bad, bad memories of last season’s regression.
Solid: Nice 1-2 combos at WR and RB.
Question: How will this team hold up by the end of the year with their lack of depth?
5. A Sheep at the Wheel
Who can doubt the abilities of the indisputable king of the last two regular seasons?
Solid: Great QB.
Question: How much do these aging WRs have in them?
Best:
4. ★
The artist formerly known as GD now serves up his most unpronounceable name yet.
Solid: Proven commodities at WR and RB.
Question: Will the bench turn in more than a one-star performance?
3. Left Hand Strangers
The new kids on the block – will they dominate or be in over their heads?
Solid: Quite deep at WR.
Question: Can the thin running game hold its own?
2. Z Power
Always performing best when it counts, coming oh-so-close the past two years.
Solid: QB and RBs look worry-free.
Question: Will drafting two suspended receivers handicap this team too much at the beginning of the year?
1. The Schmuckernators
Ready to make the leap from perennial good to great.
Solid: True starters at all the key positions.
Question: Will their depth compensate for potential lack of headliners?
3 Comments:
Let the festivities begin! Huzzah!
Love the analysis - I apologize for the lack of sense made by our team photo, as the Strangers have nothing to do with bacon. Apparently Yahoo! does not allow one to select separate photos for multiple fantasy teams. The burger pic was intended for the Bacon, IN Cheeseburgers in the Miller family league.
Uh oh...multiple Andies...this could get confusing!
Andy K./LHS - if you create an avatar, I could use that as your team pic.
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