Week 5 Power Rankings
Five weeks in, and we’re down to one undefeated and one winless team. Fittingly, they were on opposite ends of the scoring spectrum this past week. The tiers in the league are solidifying as well, with five clear front-runners, four others who are a step behind, and three teams who are barely competitive. Which group do you fall in?
1. The Dngrs Dngrs (Record 5-0, Standings: 1, Previous Week PR: 1)
When everything clicks into place, they look unstoppable. That makes two of the last three weeks they’ve had the league high score. Now the schedule becomes dramatically more difficult, but if they keep scoring at this pace, it won’t matter who they face.
2. The Schmuckernators (Record 4-1, Standings: 2, Previous Week PR: 4)
Another solid effort after an outstanding performance last week. With their relatively light schedule over the next several weeks, they are in great position to make a run for the top spot. It now looks like that horrid showing a few weeks ago was just an aberration.
3. The Home Pwners (Record 3-2, Standings: 4, Previous Week PR: 3)
Shocking loss to a team near the bottom of these rankings. That makes two weeks in a row they’ve run into a team firing on all cylinders. They still are the model of consistency, having scored over 100 points every week, so we can’t feel too sorry for them.
4. Cool Hand (Record 4-1, Standings: 3, Previous Week PR: 2)
After cruising through the first four weeks of the season, they finally lay an egg. They need to bounce back quickly with a match-up against top team in the league on tap; either redemption, or a two game losing streak. While all teams have to deal with them, injuries are especially hurting this team right now.
5. Brett’s Benzos BID (Record 3-2, Standings: 5, Previous Week PR: 5)
A superb victory from a team that is playing really well right now. Despite this relatively low ranking, they are looking like a legitimate contender and should continue to establish themselves over the next month.
6. Blind Squirrels (Record 2-3, Standings: 7, Previous Week PR: 6)
Once again, close but not quite. They just don’t have the firepower to hang with the best teams in the league, though they are plenty good to beat up on the lesser teams. That’s pretty much the definition of average, right?
7. Cupcakes of Doom! (Record 2-3, Standings: 8, Previous Week PR: 8)
It wasn’t pretty, but it was enough to break a three-game skid. Right now, this team will take a victory any way they can get it. The Cupcakes really need to regain the positive momentum they had at the beginning of the year, and maybe this win will do that.
8. Incomprehensibles (Record 3-2, Standings: 6, Previous Week PR: 10)
Great win for this team. After last week’s debacle, who could have imagined this? And who would have expected they’d be over .500 at this point in the season? Maybe they really are better than they appear. If they can perform well again next week, we’ll be believers.
9. Fat Cats (Record 2-3, Standings: 9, Previous Week PR: 7)
Did they really just about lose to a bad team with two players on bye? Yikes. That’s not a good sign. At least this week they ended up on the winning side of a nervous Monday night lead, after last week’s heartbreaker.
10. Inglorius Bat Turds (Record 1-4, Standings: 10, Previous Week PR: 9)
Starting to play better and better, but aside from last week, the wins aren’t coming yet. They just need to keep putting up these kinds of numbers, and they’ll continue to be in position to catch a few teams by surprise. At least things aren’t quite so hopeless anymore.
11. Cactus. Look out! (Record: 1-4, Standings: 11, Previous Week PR: 11)
Two receivers out because of a bye week cost this team a golden opportunity to win a game in which they shouldn’t have been close. Chalk one up to inexperience, or indifference, take your pick.
12. Minions (Record 0-5, Standings: 12, Previous Week PR: 12)
Half of the team was on bye, but it wouldn’t have mattered. Their entire roster scored twenty points less than the lowest scoring starting lineup this week. This team is like watching that movie The Day After Tomorrow. A disaster any way you look at it.
1. The Dngrs Dngrs (Record 5-0, Standings: 1, Previous Week PR: 1)
When everything clicks into place, they look unstoppable. That makes two of the last three weeks they’ve had the league high score. Now the schedule becomes dramatically more difficult, but if they keep scoring at this pace, it won’t matter who they face.
2. The Schmuckernators (Record 4-1, Standings: 2, Previous Week PR: 4)
Another solid effort after an outstanding performance last week. With their relatively light schedule over the next several weeks, they are in great position to make a run for the top spot. It now looks like that horrid showing a few weeks ago was just an aberration.
3. The Home Pwners (Record 3-2, Standings: 4, Previous Week PR: 3)
Shocking loss to a team near the bottom of these rankings. That makes two weeks in a row they’ve run into a team firing on all cylinders. They still are the model of consistency, having scored over 100 points every week, so we can’t feel too sorry for them.
4. Cool Hand (Record 4-1, Standings: 3, Previous Week PR: 2)
After cruising through the first four weeks of the season, they finally lay an egg. They need to bounce back quickly with a match-up against top team in the league on tap; either redemption, or a two game losing streak. While all teams have to deal with them, injuries are especially hurting this team right now.
5. Brett’s Benzos BID (Record 3-2, Standings: 5, Previous Week PR: 5)
A superb victory from a team that is playing really well right now. Despite this relatively low ranking, they are looking like a legitimate contender and should continue to establish themselves over the next month.
6. Blind Squirrels (Record 2-3, Standings: 7, Previous Week PR: 6)
Once again, close but not quite. They just don’t have the firepower to hang with the best teams in the league, though they are plenty good to beat up on the lesser teams. That’s pretty much the definition of average, right?
7. Cupcakes of Doom! (Record 2-3, Standings: 8, Previous Week PR: 8)
It wasn’t pretty, but it was enough to break a three-game skid. Right now, this team will take a victory any way they can get it. The Cupcakes really need to regain the positive momentum they had at the beginning of the year, and maybe this win will do that.
8. Incomprehensibles (Record 3-2, Standings: 6, Previous Week PR: 10)
Great win for this team. After last week’s debacle, who could have imagined this? And who would have expected they’d be over .500 at this point in the season? Maybe they really are better than they appear. If they can perform well again next week, we’ll be believers.
9. Fat Cats (Record 2-3, Standings: 9, Previous Week PR: 7)
Did they really just about lose to a bad team with two players on bye? Yikes. That’s not a good sign. At least this week they ended up on the winning side of a nervous Monday night lead, after last week’s heartbreaker.
10. Inglorius Bat Turds (Record 1-4, Standings: 10, Previous Week PR: 9)
Starting to play better and better, but aside from last week, the wins aren’t coming yet. They just need to keep putting up these kinds of numbers, and they’ll continue to be in position to catch a few teams by surprise. At least things aren’t quite so hopeless anymore.
11. Cactus. Look out! (Record: 1-4, Standings: 11, Previous Week PR: 11)
Two receivers out because of a bye week cost this team a golden opportunity to win a game in which they shouldn’t have been close. Chalk one up to inexperience, or indifference, take your pick.
12. Minions (Record 0-5, Standings: 12, Previous Week PR: 12)
Half of the team was on bye, but it wouldn’t have mattered. Their entire roster scored twenty points less than the lowest scoring starting lineup this week. This team is like watching that movie The Day After Tomorrow. A disaster any way you look at it.
1 Comments:
That "Day After Tomorrow" reference was just brilliant. Bravo Daniel-o!
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