Week 1 Power Rankings
Welcome to a new year of Fantasy Football, folks! Once again, let me provide a few words of introduction. These power rankings are not necessarily intended to follow the league standings exactly (though they often will); rather, they are intended to provide a weekly snapshot of the teams in the league, looking back at performance over the past few games and prospects for future games. Basically, what I’m saying is that the entire league’s perception of your team depends on my fickle mood.
While it’s pretty early to make definitive judgments about teams, we can already get a sense of who is in good shape and who will need a bit of help to make it to the playoffs. So without any further blathering, let’s meet the 2008 Kenwood Fantasy Football League!
1. The Schmuckernators (Record 1-0, Standings: 1, Previous Week PR: N/A)
Off to a good start, and this team will get even better. The loss of the Brady-Moss combo hurts the upside a little, but overall this team has fewer weaknesses than anyone else. The team to beat, at least for now.
2. The Home Pwners (Record 1-0, Standings: 3, Previous Week PR: N/A)
Just like every year, they find great value in their picks and build a potent lineup. Forte looks like the steal of the draft right now, and the roster is stocked with steady, high-producing players. They should have no problem finishing the regular season in the upper division of teams.
3. Cool Hand (Record 1-0, Standings: 4, Previous Week PR: N/A)
Strong showing, and LT hasn’t even hit his stride yet. These guys look tough across the board, although the Pittsburgh offense’s exceptional showing might be skewing results a little. Still they have the best pair of running backs around and a strong QB, so if they can get even a little help from the receivers, they will find themselves hanging around the top all year long.
4. Cupcakes of Doom! (Record 1-0, Standings: 2, Previous Week PR: N/A)
An impressive, dominant performance, but this team is too reliant on Philadelphia playing weak teams to keep steamrolling through the whole season. After the three marquee names at QB, WR, and RB (McNabb, Wayne, and Westbrook), this team has a lot of holes. For now, though, we have no choice but to reward that stellar performance.
5. Fat Cats (Record 0-1, Standings: 7, Previous Week PR: N/A)
Who would have anticipated they should have used the entire Falcons running game? If they can get that kind of help each week from the running game, this team could vault up these standings. Expect this team to be a very tough matchup each week.
6. Brett’s Benzos BID (Record 1-0, Standings: 6, Previous Week PR)
This team will live and die by the passing game. An unbalanced attack to be sure, and they could be all over the place throughout the season. They had enough this week even with mediocre performances from several key players thanks to the usual strong effort from Marion Barber, but it will be interesting to see how their season plays out.
7. Blind Squirrels (Record 0-1, Standings: 8, Previous Week PR: N/A)
They lost, but put up a pretty good fight. Once again, the Squirrels have a pretty potent starting lineup but are a bit thin on the bench. If they can stay healthy, it could be another great year. They could surprise a few people.
8. The Dngrs Dngrs (Record 1-0, Standings: 5, Previous Week PR: N/A)
A sub-par effort on the first week from a team that should get better. No other team is as deep in quality running backs; the trade off is, however, gaping holes at the wide receiver position and question marks at the other positions. They form an intriguing counterpart to pass-heavy teams like the Benzos BID and Fat Cats. For now, those teams hold the upper hand, but which strategy will yield better dividends over the course of the season?
9. Minions (Record 0-1, Standings: 9, Previous Week PR: N/A)
They had a remarkably good showing, especially considering the Cleveland offense (half the team) had such a poor game. Unfortunately for them they couldn’t pull out the win, which will be the case more often than not this year. You have to admire the purity of their idealism, but will it provide enough results to make the playoffs?
10. Incomprehensibles (Record 0-1, Standings: 10, Previous Week PR: N/A)
No Brady? No chance to win. The Incomprehensibles have put together a decent lineup and looked to be competitive with a lot of help from the top of the board, but now they’ll need a lot of help just to fight for that last playoff spot come the end of the season. Can they rebound?
11. Inglorius Bat Turds (Record 0-1, Standings: 12, Previous Week PR: N/A)
Ouch. That was bad. Outside of Stephen Jackson (who has no offensive line to open any holes), there aren’t even any players with the potential to put up big numbers week in and week out. See what happens when you miss the draft, kids? You fall to the bottom of the board, and barring holy intervention, you usually stay there.
12. Cactus. Look out! (Record: 0-1, Standings: 11, Previous Week PR: N/A)
“Look out!” is right. This is the clearly worst team in the league, sitting squarely beneath the Bat Turds. The QB, WR, and RB situations are a mess. The bench is horrendous. If Carson Palmer can turn back the clock and play like he did several years ago, and Adrian Peterson can score 50 points each week, they have a chance to compete. That’s not going to happen. It’s going to be a lo-o-o-ng year.
While it’s pretty early to make definitive judgments about teams, we can already get a sense of who is in good shape and who will need a bit of help to make it to the playoffs. So without any further blathering, let’s meet the 2008 Kenwood Fantasy Football League!
1. The Schmuckernators (Record 1-0, Standings: 1, Previous Week PR: N/A)
Off to a good start, and this team will get even better. The loss of the Brady-Moss combo hurts the upside a little, but overall this team has fewer weaknesses than anyone else. The team to beat, at least for now.
2. The Home Pwners (Record 1-0, Standings: 3, Previous Week PR: N/A)
Just like every year, they find great value in their picks and build a potent lineup. Forte looks like the steal of the draft right now, and the roster is stocked with steady, high-producing players. They should have no problem finishing the regular season in the upper division of teams.
3. Cool Hand (Record 1-0, Standings: 4, Previous Week PR: N/A)
Strong showing, and LT hasn’t even hit his stride yet. These guys look tough across the board, although the Pittsburgh offense’s exceptional showing might be skewing results a little. Still they have the best pair of running backs around and a strong QB, so if they can get even a little help from the receivers, they will find themselves hanging around the top all year long.
4. Cupcakes of Doom! (Record 1-0, Standings: 2, Previous Week PR: N/A)
An impressive, dominant performance, but this team is too reliant on Philadelphia playing weak teams to keep steamrolling through the whole season. After the three marquee names at QB, WR, and RB (McNabb, Wayne, and Westbrook), this team has a lot of holes. For now, though, we have no choice but to reward that stellar performance.
5. Fat Cats (Record 0-1, Standings: 7, Previous Week PR: N/A)
Who would have anticipated they should have used the entire Falcons running game? If they can get that kind of help each week from the running game, this team could vault up these standings. Expect this team to be a very tough matchup each week.
6. Brett’s Benzos BID (Record 1-0, Standings: 6, Previous Week PR)
This team will live and die by the passing game. An unbalanced attack to be sure, and they could be all over the place throughout the season. They had enough this week even with mediocre performances from several key players thanks to the usual strong effort from Marion Barber, but it will be interesting to see how their season plays out.
7. Blind Squirrels (Record 0-1, Standings: 8, Previous Week PR: N/A)
They lost, but put up a pretty good fight. Once again, the Squirrels have a pretty potent starting lineup but are a bit thin on the bench. If they can stay healthy, it could be another great year. They could surprise a few people.
8. The Dngrs Dngrs (Record 1-0, Standings: 5, Previous Week PR: N/A)
A sub-par effort on the first week from a team that should get better. No other team is as deep in quality running backs; the trade off is, however, gaping holes at the wide receiver position and question marks at the other positions. They form an intriguing counterpart to pass-heavy teams like the Benzos BID and Fat Cats. For now, those teams hold the upper hand, but which strategy will yield better dividends over the course of the season?
9. Minions (Record 0-1, Standings: 9, Previous Week PR: N/A)
They had a remarkably good showing, especially considering the Cleveland offense (half the team) had such a poor game. Unfortunately for them they couldn’t pull out the win, which will be the case more often than not this year. You have to admire the purity of their idealism, but will it provide enough results to make the playoffs?
10. Incomprehensibles (Record 0-1, Standings: 10, Previous Week PR: N/A)
No Brady? No chance to win. The Incomprehensibles have put together a decent lineup and looked to be competitive with a lot of help from the top of the board, but now they’ll need a lot of help just to fight for that last playoff spot come the end of the season. Can they rebound?
11. Inglorius Bat Turds (Record 0-1, Standings: 12, Previous Week PR: N/A)
Ouch. That was bad. Outside of Stephen Jackson (who has no offensive line to open any holes), there aren’t even any players with the potential to put up big numbers week in and week out. See what happens when you miss the draft, kids? You fall to the bottom of the board, and barring holy intervention, you usually stay there.
12. Cactus. Look out! (Record: 0-1, Standings: 11, Previous Week PR: N/A)
“Look out!” is right. This is the clearly worst team in the league, sitting squarely beneath the Bat Turds. The QB, WR, and RB situations are a mess. The bench is horrendous. If Carson Palmer can turn back the clock and play like he did several years ago, and Adrian Peterson can score 50 points each week, they have a chance to compete. That’s not going to happen. It’s going to be a lo-o-o-ng year.
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