Happy B-Day Adam!

A few days late, I know. Did you get a big cake and have a party with helium balloons and lots of presents and a sort-of-creepy clown who made you a balloon hat and did magic tricks and told bad jokes which weren't really funny but made you wish you could get on to the games like red rover because you like the pain or maybe duck duck goose because it is fun to sit indian-style in a circle with a bunch of friends but especially the girls who you invited because now you are old enough to like them and these girls no longer have cooties at least not the one you have a crush on for whom you specifically chose the cheap plastic party favors because you knew it was in her favorite color and it would be great to impress her and the game you are really hoping to play is spin the bottle because it's a hell of a game just like the notre dame/usc game on saturday night which was an absolute thriller though not in a michael jackson sort of way but an honest-to-goodness exciting game even though it did not involve any team from san antonio or even new orleans which is your new residence and a fine place though not too much like goshen where you went to college or back home in pennsylvania where your parents live or even africa which is a large continent and is very cool even though it has more problems than a china shop with a bull in it and speaking of the bulls remember the time you almost went to spain to participate in the running but had to withdraw at the last minute because you were using a table saw incorrectly and had to go to the emergency room which is a scary place though not for the patient because when you go as a patient you are full of adrenaline and when you leave you are full of painkillers courtesy of a nurse anesthetist like my or brett's dad who are married to wonderful women just like your mom is a wonderful lady and also your dad too and really your whole family though i don't know all of them but knowing you gives me sufficient reason to believe such a thing just like i believe other things without really knowing the truth and i don't mean the elkhart paper which is much worse than the sioux falls argus leader which i think is a fantastic idea to name a paper after a roman mythological monster and speaking of monsters halloween is coming up soon so i hope you have a sweet costume picked out like maybe napolean dynamite because those dance moves make people happy just like your friends wearing the homemade party hats on your special day?